The following are loving attempts to describe the qualities that person brings into our life, in our collective work and as an artist. This was inspired by 'Research Is Ceremony' by Shawn Wilson who writes: “I have been writing about the importance of relationships and how they are a key to an Indigenous research paradigm [...] I need a way to deepen your understanding of this web of relationships that we as co-researchers share; I need to help you to come into this web yourself. [...] I’ll tell you little stories that can serve as metaphors of how I see and know each person.”

About Milan, written by Sara
First time I saw Milan he was running toward a friend and embraced that person with so much laughter and love, I always remembered. The next two years we weren’t super close, but I liked coming across him, sharing a moment of understanding and comradery. After more and more talks in which we exchanged our ideas about video-essays, games, books and politics, we grew closer together. Now our friendship is invaluable to me and his presence gives me a sense of belonging.
Milan also helps me heal a part of me. His intelligence and empathy inspire me to embrace my queerness and to radically deconstruct the ways I was brought up to function within society. As a woman with Asian heritage, I of course suffer racism and I have had many instances of men objectifying and harassing me. Milan is one of the few white men I know - maybe even the only one - that I feel safe with to share and discuss these experiences with. His anger, the way he expresses his disgust at this kind of behaviour, and the fact that he will speak out against these people, make me feel seen and truly loved. This way, he helps me to piece back pieces I sometimes thought were too broken. He motivates me to keep speaking up for myself and to choose to be in environments that reflect my values.
Besides an amazing friend, Milan is also an incredible actor and storyteller. He carries with him a carrier bag filled with many stories that touch me every time. There are for example his dreams, often visions, nightmarish adventures filled with symbols. Then there are his poetic findings and memories; some deep truths he uncovers through living and listening. And there are his delicious gossip stories and geeky explanations sparking revolutionary thought, reminding us of the imminent importance to fight fascism and capitalism. When Milan speaks, he is captivating. He can be quiet, sensitive, and contemplative, taking his time to find the right words. This way he creates an atmosphere that inspires us all to slow down. But he can also be loud and passionate, his energy pulling you in. This, on top of his humble tendency to also give space to others, makes him such a wonderful storyteller.
Beyond his artistry, Milan reminds us of the values we hold dear. When internalized capitalism makes us overlook the need for care, he can gently echo back our own words with love. He dares to ask what can be done differently, even if it means radically reshaping our planning or projects. His presence challenges us to unconditionally stay in touch with our own needs and to carry them collectively.
Then, there is also the fact that when we draw tarrot cards together, he always pulls out the most spiritual ones. So we know that when Milan puts out his hands, we will receive some great sign. Other than this, there isn’t a day Milan doesn’t make me laugh and also, he makes the damn best eggs you can’t even imagine.

About Daan, written by Lois
I first heard of Daan—or "Daantje," as she was known back then—before I met her. Mysterious stories about an incredibly beautiful and talented person spread through the halls of the conservatory. Apparently, she wasn’t attending classes yet because she was abroad, shooting a feature film. A week later, she appeared.
You know how, with some friendships, you can pinpoint the exact moment you chose to become friends? Well, with Daan, I can do so… It was during an acting class exercise where we had to gaze into each other’s eyes for 15 minutes. We hadn’t had many deep conversations before that moment. But in that silent exchange, something clicked. We saw each other—without judgment—and found a sense of openness and comfort together. Her warmth and thoughtfulness shine through in countless interactions. Whether it’s your birthday, New Year, or just a holiday break, you can expect a beautiful card from her—handwritten, with her signature "a"’s with a hat.
Daan also brings an exciting whimsy to her intelligence. Maybe it’s because she grew up immersed in the fantastical worlds of Toon Tellegen, Annie M.G. Schmidt, and Pippi Longstocking. Conversations with her can make you forget time and space, drawing you into a dreamlike state where you find yourself pondering life’s intricacies. Her ability to articulate her thoughts and feelings so clearly and so poetically is also reflected in her professional penwomanship. She really has a way with words.
Daan has always been an anchor—encouraging emotional depth while remaining grounded. She wears her emotions close and generously creates space for others to express what they need to feel, which is very encouraging, especially for me, as I struggle to take up space with my vulnerability sometimes. Her ability to invite raw emotion into a circle makes her both a strong and compassionate member of this collective. This, to me, is a deeply political act— she inspires me to imagine a world where vulnerability is not only welcomed but held and carried by others.
But don’t be fooled, she has a mischievous Pipi Longstocking-like, playful side to her. Once when no one was looking I saw her… (it might be better if I don’t share the following anecdote, wouldn't want to get her into trouble).
Daan is just a force of physicality and vitality. She is always eager to learn and do more. She is always on the go. If she’s not playing the cello, reading up on ayurveda, narrating audiobooks or touring around the country performing- have I mentioned that she is a hell of an actress? She’s made me cry in every play or movie I’ve ever seen with her -, you’ll find her running a half-marathon, practicing or teaching yoga, hiking, mountain biking or… These pursuits showcase her determination, discipline and resilience. I’m so grateful that she brings this knowledge and skill sets into Kin Collective in the most compelling way.
Daan is a deeply intuitive and emotionally generous soul, enriching every artistic process she engages in. I couldn’t imagine KIN Collective without her.

About Lois, written by KC
It’s an impossible task for me to capture Lois in just one text. She has so many layers and talents, and the longer I know her, the more she continues to amaze me. As someone who performs/moves/makes music/sings/breaths, she finds countless ways to express what lives within her and what moves the world around her. She never settles into what she already knows but keeps searching, experimenting, playing. And crafting—a word she was the first to introduce to our collective a few years ago.
Everyday I feel so privileged to witness Lois’ infectious humor and joy in play. She shares her energy generously, pulling me so effortlessly into her imagination and her goofy spirit. She has a deep love for life, for trees, and plants. Her roots offer her environment power and protection, her branches safety and warmth.
I’m so blessed with Lois as a friend. She can really see the beauty in someone’s growth, celebrate it with them, and make them feel less alone. When Lois has your back, it is real, deeply felt, and from the heart. She is so honest that if she does not stand behind something, she will tell you—and that makes her support all the more meaningful.
I remember that before I had Lois in my life I had a more (self-)destructive view on love and care. Lois really has changed the way I give and receive love. She challenges me and KIN Collective to question values such as “friendship”, “care” , and “community” in a radical way. She invites us to rethink these concepts explicitly, and grow within them—together. Thanks to Lois, I feel that relationships are not fixed but fluid. That we can redefine them and engage with them consciously.
The way Lois relates to herself, and grows as a person, is just as inspiring to me. When I first got to know her, ten years ago, we were playing a theatre scene together at drama school. One evening after a really difficult rehearsal, she called me just to say "sorry” for the off-day she had. This phone call moved me. Not just because she was the first person in my life who could say "sorry" so sincerely, but also because, in doing so, she made me feel that we were working on something together. Without Lois, I’m sure my life as an artist would have started out feeling much lonelier. Although I don’t think she needed to apologize for it, this thoughtful moment still stays with me. It also makes me think about how, over the years, she has transformed from someone who devoted a lot of her energy to pleasing others to someone who guards her precious energy, listens to her own needs and boundaries. Above that she has a strong sense of justice. She’s choosing carefully which battle to fight. Once she’s made her choice, she does so wholeheartedly, with commitment and fire.
Lois also has a remarkable gift for abstract thinking, for imagining worlds that do not yet exist. She offers new perspectives, creates space for unlearning/relearning, and helps a group focus on what truly matters instead of what distracts. That all makes her an essential force within KIN Collective. She intuitively senses what a group needs—whether it’s confirmation, or a shift in direction.
And then there are her stories. Storytelling runs in her blood. She takes you on a wonderful journey full of detours and side thoughts, but that's precisely what makes it all part of the experience. She brings the power, joy, and playfulness of storytelling into our lives.
Lois is—as she always ends her lovely text messages—
++

About KC, written by Daan
When I think of Kenneth I immediately hear their mischievous laughter. A laugh that makes me laugh too. They are blessed with the gift of being so incredibly hilarious in real life but also on stage. It’s rare to laugh so hard that tears run down your cheeks, but with them, it happens every time.
Whether you have something personal or work-related, big or small, they listen to you. They don't give unsolicited advice, they listen. With their sensitivity to language and poetry, they know how to touch many people, including me, time and time again. They are a tremendously talented actor and writer, whose timing is always right. They always add a layer to every scene, each word can be felt deeply and you leave the room with goosebumps on your arms. They play with words like a child on the playground. They are surprising, moving and motivating.
They move through life gracefully and are preferably dressed in purple, shiny sequins, and glitter. Last year, Kitty K’Toy, their self-created drag queen, got to shine on stage for the first time, and everyone enjoyed this bright and beautiful gem. She was engaging, super funny, played the audience with ease. And, of course, looked phenomenal! Seeing her transformation made all four of us cry with pride.
Whether it is about friendship, work, creation, self-exploration, or in the kitchen. In almost everything they do Kenneth goes for it 120%. Like a little hummingbird, they never stop learning and always know where to refill their well.
Kenneth sees what is quickly overlooked. Where others don’t even take a second glance. They care about the people they love and about those who suffer from the violence in the world. They speak out against any form of oppression and dare to face the truth.They know what it is to suffer adversity and not be seen, but despite that, they always courageously persevere and motivate those around them with their perseverance. In recent years, they have been reconnecting with their motherland Thailand. Despite their complex relationship with their Thai mother, they immerse themselves in this bond, diligently learning about the Thai language, culture, and their chosen Asian family.
Since Kenneth and I both don't really like Christmas and the traditional family thing, we have been celebrating our own Christmas together for a few years now. This does not necessarily happen on one of the Christmas days but rather over delicious food while having deep conversations about our lives, our youth, our dreams.
Only recently I lost my grandmother, with whom I had a very special bond. When I was very sad one day, Kenneth, who was practically raised by his grandmother, said that he also misses his grandmother often. 'If you want to reminisce together about our grandmothers, we can always do that,' they said. So now we sometimes talk about our grandmothers, and that eases the missing and strengthens our friendship even more.
Kenneth is one of the sweetest people I know.
One I cherish in my heart.

About Sara, written by Milan
Sara is one of my closest friends. She inspires me and I learn from her all the time. When I’m in her company there is a deep sense of safety and familiarity. Years ago Sara gave me a deck with intricate hand drawn personalised tarot cards. At that time in my life I couldn’t believe someone put so much thought and effort in a gift for me. I was raised atheist and even though I believed in magic and love and imagination it was quite new for me to practice spirituality in a concrete way. This gift, which came with a set of instructions for how to use it, opened a world for me. Since then I’ve consulted this deck for most of the major decisions in my life and it never let me down. I feel it’s imbued by Sara’s wisdom, love and thoughtfulness.
Last new years eve I wanted to stay home, the world was on fire and I suffered from a depressive episode. Sara invited me for a small potluck and a ritual to go into the new year. As always it was an invitation without expectation or pressure. It has become so valuable to me how Sara invites us for these simple but powerful rituals in moments of transition. It makes me feel that I’m part of a community and it allows me to process and share the feelings of despair I was dealing with. She brings this focus on the ceremonial to our practice and it inspires me to practice it in my own life as well.
I can never not laugh when Sara is laughing. It’s a full, unbridled, pronounced laugh. A date once told Sara that she laughs like an uncle laughs during a family dinner, that Sara’s reclaiming that laughter, that moment of taking up space with pure authentic joy. And I completely agree. She’s also incredibly funny herself. She’s not a natural jokester and doesn’t joke often but when she does it always lands like the spot on imitation she does of the dodo’s in Ice Age.
I love nerding out with her; discussing the works of Ursula K Le Guin, Octavia E. Butler and Samantha Shannon with her, talking about video games like Baldurs’s Gate 3 and sharing video essays.
She is so good at expressing her needs. I’ve learned a lot from her in that regard. This goes for basic needs, it happens often that she says she’s hungry or needs a break and in that moment I realize that I share that need. But also more complex needs like needing a talk about the dynamics in our group. She is sensitive to tension and the atmosphere in the group and brave enough to always bring it up and discuss it. I appreciate the times that she critiqued my behavior or my actions because it’s always done with love and integrity and results in a moment of growth for me.
Her work is deeply personal and embedded in a feminist, queer and antiracist critique of society. As much an intimate recollection of her lived experience as the revealing of layers of oppression and harm in our language, media and culture. And all that is filled with grace, care and attentiveness to all the relations that are involved in her work. By giving her intuition, feelings, imagination and lived experiences as much value and weight as citing studies or so called objective evidence, she provides a deeper and more intimate understanding. A great example of this is the graphic novel she’s working on in which she explores her biculturality. Everytime she shares versions of it with us I’m touched by the healing potential of this work and I am reminded by the role of art in changing the world.
When there is a new idea or a new route to take in our artistic journey Sara always radiates with enthusiasm and it’s infectious. Seeing her focussed face while she’s tockeling away on her keyboard, drawing, moving things around in the space or writing ideas out on a big sheet of paper, this face of concentration interrupted with a smile or a moment of laughter reminds me of the joy that is part of creating, of transforming of bringing something new, something different into this world.